A Little Bit of Sunshine

I feel a lot like the early spring weather: sunny and unseasonably warm one day, gale force winds and rain the next. And the weirdest thing about this kind of sadness is that it leaves you unsure of yourself in every moment. Am I unseasonably sunny, or is the wind and rain simply scattered across a normal, happy life?

I really don't know. But I know that the sunshine feels good after a very long winter, so I have been trying to focus on that. It's easy to focus on the two little guys I don't have, and I worry I may never be able to fill the space they left behind. But the sun still shines, and I don't want to spend so much time missing my babies that I forget to take stock in the two other little people who are still here with me.

I have been worried about finding that balance a lot lately as life charges on. If this is all I get, then I certainly don't want to miss it because I'm too busy pining for the impossible.

So, without further ado, the pursuit of sunshine (AKA: Saturday mornings)...

There is beauty all around.

Please don't tell the husband I posted a picture of him just waking up—I couldn't resist.
I can bang pots and pans and talk loudly all morning, but the only person who can get
Andy out of bed is this little girl, who tiptoes in with an armload of stuffed animals
and requests for a story week after week. 

I pray I will never forget the value in a wasted day of storybooks, playtime and cartoons.